14w5d

I am aware that it won't be long before I can feel Ferris move. I've read it typically happens around weeks 15 or 16....and that I'll know it when I feel it. One of my best friends is also pregnant (she's 2 weeks behind me - what are the odds of that?) and since it's her second child, she knows exactly what it feels like and tries to describe it to me.

I've been overcome with exhuastion the past few days. I'm sleeping deeper than I have since I found out I was pregnant, which is glorious. I've made it entire nights without being awoken to the sounds of my husband snoring, and the past two nights I've been able to enjoy hours of sleep uninterrupted by the need to get up and use the bathroom. Of course, with that deeper sleep comes bizarre dreams...and I have had my first dreams about the baby coming home. In one, we had a little girl with tons of dark hair, and I realized that we had nothing in our home required to care for a baby - no diapers, no bottles, no clothes, no crib. In another, a boy with wispy blond hair was walking within days...and in yet another, when I turned around to look in the backseat on the way home from the hospital, we had not one but two infants crammed into a single carseat.

I've been craving peanut butter, popcorn, fruit, and lemonade. I'm doing my best to eat balanced meals, although I don't give in to the temptation of guilt when I eat a soft pretzel for lunch. I haven't been too hungry throughout the day, but once night comes I could eat for hours on end, stopping only to moan about the heartburn and feeling of being stuffed. Since my body is holding on to everything I eat in order to extract all possible nutrients, digestion is slowed and some meals have me lying on the floor in a vain attempt to find a comfortable position.

My emotions are all over the board. My husband walked in the bathroom a few days ago to find me drying my hair and sobbing uncontrollably. I alternate between fear over everything that's changing, adoration over my husband and the fact that he chose me, amusement at my ever-growing shape, frustration with the fact that our dryer chose the week of Christmas (and the week I planned on doing all the laundry) to stop working, and raw affection towards our dogs for being so well-behaved lately.

This Christmas, in essence, is no different than what I've experienced the past few years....trying to arrange our schedules to make sure we spend enough time with both of our families, ensuring all of the gifts have been purchased and wrapped, and reflecting on the year as it comes to a close. This year, however, we are overjoyed to be adding to our family, the gifts under the tree aren't nearly as important as the one we've been given, and when I think about the past year, I'm filled with a sense of pure wonder about how far we've come - and how far we've yet to go.